30 seconds into Warm Bodies I had no idea how I would write a review for it. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a bad movie, but it wasn’t a horror movie — it was only a zombie movie in the most basic sense of the word (they were walking and they were dead.)

The screenwriters immediately threw all rules we’ve ever known of zombie lore right out the window (I attempted to keep a running tally of broken zombie rules, but I couldn’t keep up.) Now if you can get past that and put yourself in the mind of a 14 year old girl with posters of Robert Pattenson and One Direction on her wall, then you may be able to enjoy the film. It was as if Stephenie Meyer (author of the Twilight novels) ATTEMPTED to channel John Hughes and TRIED to write a zombie love story.

A poor attempt.

I should say that the film is based on a novel of the same name, written by Isaac Marion — I know nothing of the book — I can’t really draw any comparisons. The book could be good for all I know. If you could take the zombie aspect out of the movie, it would be another teenage romantic “comedy.” But alas, it was a “zombie movie,” so it was another teenage romantic comedy that is trying to take advantage of the current popularity of the undead.

If I took one thing from Warm Bodies, it’s that love and acceptance conquers all… ugh, I need a few beers and viewing of a Stallone movie to retrieve my manhood.

Like I said, it wasn’t a bad movie. It is, however, a BAD horror movie and a BAD zombie movie and there’s definitely an audience that will enjoy it, but it just wasn’t me and, probably, not any of the 40oz. of Horror loyalists. The zombie culture was already becoming over-saturated, which happens to everything as it becomes more mainstream.

Let’s just hope that Warm Bodies isn’t a sign of the beginning of the end.

Warm Bodies, directed by Jonathan Levine and starring Analeigh Tipton, Teresa Palmer, John Malkovich, Nicholas Hoult, and Lizzy Caplan, in theaters everywhere Friday, Feb 1.

Let us know if you plan to see Warm Bodies and/or what you thought.

When all you do is watch horror movies, it’s a nice reprieve to catch a no-nonsense, turn your brain off, kick ass action flick. That is exactly what I was hoping for with The Last Stand (Arnold Schwarzenegger and Johnny Knoxville), and that is exactly what I got. It’s no secret that we love our 80’s action heroes, especially with the lack of true action icons these days. I have to admit, I enjoy when the old guys come back for more, i.e. The Expendables, Rocky Balboa, Rambo.

Let me say this… Schwarzenegger is back!

The Last Stand is directed by the mastermind behind 2011’s I Saw the Devil, Kim Jee-Woon (There’s your horror connection) and he pulls no punches. Arnold couldn’t have been aligned with a better helmer to handle his comeback as a lead. Schwartzenegger is old and he knows it. There’s plenty of good natured nods towards it and none of his action scenes are too over-the-top or cheesy.  It’s obvious that he’s a tad rusty and some of his lines are a bit off, but really, probably due to his accent, all his movies are kind of like that.

The Last Stand is a classic shoot’em up, car chase, fist fight that Arnold’s always been known for. There’s plenty of action and violence with a surprisingly decent amount of blood. Even the comedy is well placed and not too cheesy.  Johnny Knoxville plays the town goofball / gun nut and is the obvious comic relief, to which he plays the role well.  Some people may not like him much as an actor, but I’ve always  found is roles pretty hilarious.

And then there’s the car… This may be just for the guys, but the car is awesome. A stealthy, suped up, Corvette ZR1, that the escaped bad guy is driving from LA to the Mexican border, right through Sheriff Arnold’s town. So, naturally there is going to be a car chase, which is done really well and kind of an homage to the classic car chase movies of the ’70s. Don’t worry, Arnold gets himself some drive time, as well, when he lands himself a Camaro ZL1.

So, if you like this action sort of stuff, do yourself a favor and go see The Last Stand. We don’t get good fun movies like this very often.

The Last Stand: In theaters everywhere January 18.

Are you going to see The Last Stand?

I loved 2009’s The Collector because of its original story—thieves breaking into a house where this crazy fucking maniac is killing a family.

What could be better?

I’ll tell you what, The Collection! I think this was one of the best horror sequels to be made in recent years. The movie starts with the victim from the first film, Josh Stewart reprising his role as Arkin, escaping the clutches of the terrifying killer, only to be faced with the task of going back in an attempt to kill the fucker who tortured him.

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The Collection has a good story and a lot of killing. The first few minutes alone became one of the largest death scenes I have ever witnessed—almost like the beginning of Ghost Ship (2002). That is a pretty big death total! The only thing that I saw as a negative is that it slowly started to get stale 3/4 of the way through.

One could criticize every little thing in a horror film and those people are douchebags. This film was great and it was done very well. The ending was not expected, but it was fucking awesome! I true must see from Tom H.

Originality rating: 7 out of 10
Scare rating: 4 out of 10

What did you think of The Collection?

I bring you another found footage film, however this time I have some good things to say!

The Bay (movie) is not great, but it is a film that is worth the watch. I loved the back story and the narration to what was going on; The Bay is the new Piranha and it doesn’t disappoint too much.

The Bay really makes you question how our government works in regards to serious situations and what could be happening without our knowledge. What would you do if you found out the government was fucking around with our lives instead of giving us a heads up when they know about serious shit that could potentially kill our asses?

The film starts off with a woman named Donna Thompson (Kether Donohue) having a video conversation with someone about certain events she survived. She feels it is finally time to get the information out after having to keep it to herself for so long. Most of the footage showed how everything unfolded, but it wasn’t detailed enough, and it could have made this movie even better. I was hoping to see more footage like in Diary of the Dead, so I could learn more about the characters involved.

I would personally lose the overall found footage style and go with a traditional shooting method. Sure, they could use some of the found video footage, but leave it to a minimum. They could have turned this into a slightly longer movie and told an actual story in more depth rather than bits and pieces of information tied together by the narrative.

Go ahead, waste some money, and give this film a try!

Originality Rating: 7 out of 10
Scare Rating: 3 out of 10

What did you think of The Bay?

Check out the trailer for The Bay.

Tom H’s Take:

Found footage has become the focus of the horror genre in the past couple years, and it continues to be utilized in the movie Sinister.  Not completely focused on found footage throughout the film, however there is a lot of it.

Crime novelist Ellison Oswalt (Ethan Hawke), along with his wife and two kids, moves into a house months after the previous family was murdered. Oswalt soon finds a box of seemingly harmless reels of family films stored in the attic. To his surprise, these films document the murder of several families. Snuff films found in the house of a murdered family strikes me as odd; you’re telling me the Realtor didn’t clean up the house when they were selling it?

Sinister is basically recycled horror movie ideas that have been overused and completely predictable. The whole time I watched this movie I was not impressed. Visually the effects are good because this is the year 2012 and anyone that makes a multi-million dollar movie should be able to provide these effects.

While this movie was predictable, there were some interesting points where they tried to make us believe the obvious wasn’t going to happen yet it did. Is this a classic in the making? No. Is this a good enough movie to spend your hard earned money watching? No. If I had the chance I would not have spent my money or time on this film. Ethan Hawke, I am sorry that you decided to choose this film. You could not save it even though you’re a pretty good actor.

Originality Rating: 6 out of 10
Scare Rating: 5 out of 10

What did you think about Sinister?

Tom H’s Take:

For my first movie review [at 40oz. Of Horror] I have chosen Smiley (2012). Smiley starts off immediately at a high pace — establishing just what the movie is going to be about — an internet based urban legend that kills the person you are chatting with when typing a phrase three times.  So basically an internet version of Candyman combined with Scream; not that I would say this is a bad thing, but it’s not completely an original idea.

Throughout the movie Ashley (Caitlin Gerard – The Social Network) tries to find out who or what Smiley is. While doing so she is seen as a fucking crazy bitch who is on drugs or suffering from some psychotic break. The acting was OK considering it is a slasher flick. There was quite a bit of fast paced action and a fair amount of pretty gruesome deaths, and to top it off, it was good enough to keep me watching. I would not tell everyone that this movie is junk, I would pretty much describe this movie as a typical slasher with no real originality that sets it apart from any other slasher movie.

Originality Rating: 4 out of 10
Scare Rating: 5 out of 10

Horror fans around the world: watch this movie if only to get the opportunity to see some killing and another take on slasher films. You won’t love it, but you won’t completely hate it. You can blame me after you watch the film if you hate it, however I will not give a shit!

I watched the movie and survived so will you!

What did you think of Smiley?