I have a soft spot, a scab that I keep picking, for Rob Zombie’s movies. Something about the look of them really tickles my fancy: the grittiness to it all, the sweat stained look on everyone’s skin and clothing, and just that undeniable stench of body odor and swamp ass in that dry heat where so many of his movies seem to take place. Perhaps it is the country music fan in me that appeals?
I also love seeing Sheri Moon-Zombie half naked. That’s a big one for any male horror fan young or old.
It feels like I waited years to finally see Rob Zombie’s 31. I heard rumours about it around the time that The Lords of Salem was hitting horrorfests. At one point, I was even thinking it was secretly Halloween 3 (given the specific number of 31 and all) but then production was stalled. I heard reshoots were necessary and when it was finally finished, the production company that purchased it went bankrupt.
That undeniable stench of body odor and swamp ass
Alas, a teaser poster went online this past summer and suddenly there were select screenings. In Canada, I waited for some concrete release date in a theatre and not simply on iTunes but nothing certain. One warm October night, I switched on my Android TV Box and there it was, ready for my viewing pleasure. I didn’t quite know what to expect, but I knew I was going get an hour and a half of great shock cinema; plenty of gore, guts with gratuitous nip slips in between.
The movie starts off introducing five travelling carnival workers who are inevitably kidnapped, held hostage, and forced to try and survive a twelve hour murder marathon in which they will be hunted like wild game. Its Stone Cold Steve Austin’s The Condemnedmeets Predators so I can’t say Zombie reinvented the wheel with the plot in this one. To sum it up for this genre, think basically the three-way love child of The Running Man, The Purge and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. (…But really, what’s so bad with that? It’s Rob Zombie!)
What the fuck is up with all these killer clowns?
What he lacks in story originality, all the creativity reflected through the villains in this film was outstanding. Emphasis on character and unique new additions to our horror fandom is something Zombie nails out of the park every time. From Malcolm McDowell looking like Paul Revere – sporting a powder white wig and taking bets on who’s next to die – to a Neo-Nazi midget who swings switchblades, the twin brothers that opted to dress as dirty clowns (talk about foreshadowing current clown events) that wield chainsaws to, finally, Doom-Head. This guy is a one hundred and forty pound easy fan favourite murderer. Doom-Head, when he isn’t taking his skin boat to tuna town, acts and looks like the most violent Joker incarnation that Batman has ever laid his dark knight eyes on. This crew of murderous monsters would be the most fucked up alternative Suicide Squad ever.
The movie holds so much within its carnival atmosphere that I need not spoil it here. The psychedelic trip for the viewer, which anybody who has watched a Rob Zombie film knows all too well, will appreciate this particular visit. Needless to say I loved 31 and I’m no critic by any means (great thing to say while reviewing a movie). Zombie didn’t break any new ground which did leave a tad bit of disappointment seeing as how this movie was to be his climactic horror presentation. That said I believe he gave a perfectly acceptable gore driven movie; balancing blood, nudity and rip-roaring fun.
Updated October 2, 2016: After having viewed the true Hollywood classic of the original (yet again), The Birds, there were a few interesting notes to take away from it that passed me by before; notes which contribute to elements of The Birds II: Land’s End. Tippi Hedren’s character of Helen in the film works at a general store and helps the townspeople in time of crisis. Interestingly, the waitress who helped nurse Melanie’s wound in the restaurant in the original, was named Helen. I feel this could be a definite homage to a secondary character that provides aid, only this time instead of a restaurant, it’s at a store. Secondly, and most eyebrow raising, is that Melanie explains to Mitch midway through the film that her Mother left them and found some guy out East. Taking into the consideration the timeframe of both films, and that the sequel does take place on the East coast, that Tippi’s Helen character would be Melanie Daniel’s half-sister. I realize this is a stretch but the elements are clearly there to connect both films and I feel that it supports my feeling that the original script/screenplay by Ken and Jim Wheat, as well as Robert Eisele, were trying to take the film seriously and give something to fans of the Hitchcock classic. At this point, it is all up to interpretation, but I most certainly will continue to enjoy the film through my theories here because you just never know.
Originally Published on 40oz. Of Horror Published by Jeff T. Smith on November 16, 2014
There are three all-time classic horror movies that my Mom loves: Psycho, Halloween and The Birds. Growing up amidst my array of The Real Ghostbusters, Batman and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, these were the three horror movies I knew about and got to see. Terrified, I secretly knew one day I could see myself enjoying more of this genre. The early 90s were not that impressive among even the best of horror fans and by 1994, the horror genre itself was pretty well dead. Sure there was Jason Goes To Hell or Phantasm III, but the spark that made the 80s so renowned was most definitely extinguished. Still, on that Fall day in 1994, when I visited our local Waterdown Jumbo Video, I remember the excitement my Mom had on when we saw The Birds II: Land’s End on the New Release Wall. By that time, I was head over heels for movies like Jurassic Park and had just gotten to see all the Jaws and Aliens movies. A new trek into the world of killer birds was just what I needed.
“My character in this film is not at all similar to Melanie Daniels … I play someone completely new.”
What we didn’t know by that time was that this sequel was already despised by those genre fans who watched it upon its original Showtime Cable Network Broadcast in March 1994. We didn’t know that the final version was so disappointing to Halloween II director Rick Rosenthal that he took his name right off the film, opting to use the Alan Smithee label instead. The film, set 30 years after the Alfred Hitchcock original, picks up on the East Coast (instead of the West Coast). The story revolves around Ted and Mary Hocken (Brad Johnson and ‘The Last Boy Scout’s Chelsea Field) and their two young daughters who take a summer break on Gull Island. The family is dealing with the loss of their son after a freak vehicle accident. The after match being Ted’s instability in maintaining his career as a Biology Teacher and Mary switching jobs to the Island Newspaper. So far so good right? The movie has a compelling family tale to get behind and how will they deal with the threat of this wildlife gone awry. I’ll proudly admit right now that I enjoyed this movie but would not have enjoyed it as much if not for the return of original Birds star Tippi Hedren. Melanie Daniels returns! Well, not really. Even in the original script draft, writers Ken & Jim Wheat did not have Melanie returning prior to any commitments by the actress herself. Instead, Hedren portrays local Helen Matthews, owner of the proverbial General Store and privy to all happenings of Gull Island. For a smaller role, Hedren still delivered here bringing that much needed class and value to the story and segue for new viewers from the original. In my own childhood mind, and my Mom enjoyed this aspect, I made believe Helen was Melanie having gone through extensive psychiatric therapy to overcome the horrors of her past and start life anew. Sadly, Hedren herself confirmed in Fangoria #130 (which covered The Birds II) that “My character in this film is not at all similar to Melanie Daniels … I play someone completely new.”
Check out this original 1994 Showtime commercial spot
So it’s a Made-for-TV movie and has that mid-90s yawn factor at certain points but it also mixes up the internal family drama by having Mary get up-close and personal with her new boss Frank (James Naughton) and includes the stereotypical Lighthouse keeper (Jan Rubes) warning of the evils brought forth by mankind’s treatment of nature. Spoiler alert – they kill off the Family Dog Scout when he heroically protects the youngest daughter from a vicious Bird attack. You can also look closely at one of the Mayor’s lackeys because its none other than I Know What You Did Last Summer’s Muse Watson. The Birds II is also more grisly than its predecessor right from the opening scene where a marine biologist is brutally attacked complete with eye gouges. Not only were optical effects utilized, but this film also brings the animatronics into the forefront. Why do I mention this? Because nowadays, every filmmaker and his mother would probably use CGI. It’s a damn shame that the pinch of penny now forces people to opt for CGI over the real thing so-to-speak. The animatronics were provided here by Kevin Brennan (Return of the Living Dead III) and his special effects team.
The Birds II: Land’s End is a total guilty pleasure
Total guilty pleasure or the fact that it is now so rarely seen, or available, that I still love pulling this movie from my VHS archives and plugging it in. I am so much a fan that a few years back when I had the opportunity to meet Tippi Hedren at Horrorhound, I didn’t ask her about the original, I asked her about The Birds II! Many interviews have taken place with Hedren having a sour reflection on this film, but she maintained a positive light as she told me that she had no plans to make Helen be Melanie and it was a nostalgic return to a movie that helped define her career. So far, MCA Universal Home Video has kept this loathed entry tucked away in the archives with only this original VHS release in 1994. Scoring only a 2.8/10 on IMDB, I have no doubt many of you out there who are familiar with this are unilaterally cheering ‘GOOD!’ Not I, in fact, I would welcome a DVD or Blu-Ray release with some special features documenting the production and post-production debacles that made this film what it is. The majority of my horror friends don’t have a clue this film even exists until I show them the VHS sitting in my collection. For any true, open-minded collector, I recommend revisiting The Birds II: Land’s End because remember, “Man may own the land, but the birds … they own the world.”
Palmer, Randy. (1994) The Flap Over The Birds II. FANGORIA. New York, USA: Starlog Communications International, Inc. www.Fangoria.com
[Readers, I recommend that you see the film first to avoid spoilers contained in the following article but it is up to you as this analysis is meant to raise questions and perspective to your viewing experience.]
Gestalt psychology was based around set patterns and the perception of these patterns. It was how the viewer perceived that specific pattern that could give insight to their inner conflicts. Goat made its limited theatrical release back on September 23rd and is currently available on iTunes. The film deals with the repercussions of individuals who fall into a set pattern. The pattern here is the controversial ordeal of “hazing.” A long time tradition found on campus grounds where a Fraternity would rush junior pledges through a series of obstacles all so they could get a chance to join that Frat house a.k.a. Brotherhood. The depth of the rush week tradition, and the series of events that occur, are much harsher than a simple prank all in the name of good fun.
Not meant to be fun
Goat, directed by Andrew Neel, written by David Gordon Green, Andrew Neel and Mike Roberts, based off of the memoir book by Brad Land and produced by James Franco, is exactly the trip through the deep, dark and horrific depths of that life. There is no fun to be had while viewing this film and nor is it meant to be. The movie opens with a distorting and eerie shot showing a group of frat boys, in a semi-circle, yelling and looking down towards something or someone off-camera though we do not see exactly what they are directing their attention to. The speed is slow and the sounds are ruffled, with only the tense atmospheric music by Arjan Miranda to tell the audience that they are going to embark on a serious ride through something beyond rationale comprehension. This shot is very important to the overall story arc that will come into play much later though this specific scene will not.
The viewer is introduced to Brad (Ben Schnetzer, Warcraft: The Beginning and Pride) who is getting a glimpse at frat house life by attending a party by Phi Sigma Mau; a fraternity currently co-headed by his older brother Brett (Nick Jonas, Scream Queens and Careful What You Wish For). The spectacle of the party and the exhibitions by intoxicated college girls seem too good to be true, and Brad is shown to be reserved and respectful; his soul pure and will not engage in the harder side of the party ala drugs. Brad leaves the party alone, since Brett decided to stay at the house in favor of hooking up with one of the intoxicated girls, and offers aid to two guys who need a ride. Brad’s innocence puts him into jeopardy here when the two guys lure him onto a dark, country road and proceed to bludgeon him; robbing him of not just his belongings but his very being.
This introduction is central to establishing the fracture that weakens Brad’s own psyche. The audience is cleverly let into this character’s state through the visual of a selfie Brad has taken with his face badly beaten and bruised but with the cracks of the cell phone screen over top of him. The cracks stand not just in the literal but the figurative sense and we will see when he updates a picture later on how this changes.
Brad decides that he will join Brett and the other Fraternity members that following school year. We are introduced to Fraternity head Chance (Gus Halper, Power) who genuinely welcomes Brad to partake in the activities. While Brett is happy to see his brother pursuing the path to the frat house, he also has reservations that perhaps Brad won’t be able to handle it especially having gone through a traumatic experience. We are also briefly introduced to Will (Danny Flaherty, The Americans and Skins (2011)) as Brad’s roommate who instantly wants to join the fraternity as his chance at social acceptance. Will is the archetype for the average student who is not the most popular but will push himself and risk his own personal wellbeing for that opportunity to just be normal. Could be considered that Will is another depiction of Brad’s conscience and what might have been if not for his fortunate genes, guidance of his older brother, and his own haunting experience.
(Continue article after the video)
Hell Week for the Goat
Before “Hell Week” commences, which is the one initial week where all pledges (nicknamed “Goats”) will be tasked by the fraternity, there is a very important scene where Chance sits with Brett and Brad in a private study, complete with Cuban cigars. Where the audience was first lead to believe Chance is going to be the antagonist of the story, we see that he is actually rejected by his own Father and relies on the acceptance of his frat brothers and that lifestyle. The filmmakers here have not only created sympathy for the lead character, but also a secondary character that one would easily have otherwise being stereotyped.
Former Fraternity leader, and now alumni of 15 years, Mitch (James Franco, 127 Hours and The Spider-Man Trilogy) arrives on the scene to check out the house and is instantly welcomed by the current class. Mitch’s involvement in the film, however minimal, plays one of the most significant symbolic roles. We learn that he is married with a wife and children who are waiting for him back home after his visit. What began as a simple stop eventually led to Mitch sticking around for a house party complete with the booze and raucous antics. He meets Brad and engages in a psycho-therapeutic exchange of slaps and punches. This releases something within Brad while satisfying Mitch. Mitch is a man who seems to have gone to have a successful career yet comes back and cannot resist the temptation of overindulging in alcohol, reliving his youth, and reliving the violent tendencies that had once existed. It’s his fixation to still feel wanted, despite having a family who loves him back home, that brings him back. This is the damage caused by joining the Fraternity in the first place but the viewer does not yet know exactly what Mitch represents. Mitch is similar to a soldier reliving war time because he cannot escape it no matter how recognized a veteran he may be.
Hell Week for the Goat
Duality plays a major role in the film as each character deals with internal conflict. The hazing begins on the goats, and when it does, Chance is no longer the empathetic being we saw him as, but rather a leader and instigator of torture. Even Brett lives up the ritual and joins his frat brothers in the antics. The audience is lured into this mistreatment much the same way Brad and Will are, and the film asks whether or not we are ready to experience the hell week just as the characters do. As the goats are lined up, a senior frat member Dixon (Jake Picking, Dirty Grandpa) serves as the drill sergeant. During the initiation, he makes a point to tell the goats that he does not want to see them as individuals but as one unit combined together. This line dialogue is key to the allusion of the fear and eventual long-term damage to the mind.
In many ways, the parallels between the military soldiers and the fraternity members are brought forward all throughout the movie. Once Brett begins to see the disturbing effects and grotesque displays of testosterone fueled bullying, he questions the value and what drives one to want to be part of this society. We get a scene where Dixon goes to Brett and when questioned, he basically tells Brett that because they went through it, they have to put the new pledges through that or worse. Once again, the audience sees the duality as the terrifying sergeant Dixon has let his guard down for one moment to show that he is still dealing with his own initiation from years past.
Unfortunately for Will…
Goat engulfs the viewer into the underground pledge world, wisely set in the underground for that matter, when the fraternity takes the pledges into the basement. This sequence depicts one of the most horrific elements of the film, where the pledges are brutalized by gang-violence and forced intoxication. It might be fun, however disturbing for the audience to see the crimes committed in a Rob Zombie film such as The Devil’s Rejects, but these are not backwoods maniacs out for slaughter – these are all kids, getting an education, and engaging in dark acts. On the bright side, drinking heavily and partying seems to be the perfect way to kick back and let loose, but now the same bottles are used as weapons; not the bottles themselves but the liquid inside. Constantly bombarded with various drinks while doing challenge after challenge, it makes the audience put their own drink down and think to themselves about the hurtful reality and poison that can be put into their systems. Unfortunately for Will, he throws up after one too many, and is penalized and put into a cage. The events that immediately follow this are disgusting. Trapped in the cage like an animal, the fraternity boys then gather around and urinate on him, beating the cage, pouring alcohol and other food and whatnot substances down onto the trapped student. This degradation rapes Will of any dignity he once had. He is not penetrated in a sexual way, but in an emotional and psychiatric context for which one cannot recover from. No matter how strong one may be, the thought of being on the receiving end of that treatment: dazed, confused, intoxicated, vying for acceptance – all these things remain in the regions of the brain. Will woke the next morning with his fellow pledges, cleans himself off, and goes about the day but the stress it took, and subsequent actions by the fraternity, leads to a deadly result.
Brad constantly questions his own strength and manhood, even to his brother, as to why he did not fight back during the assault, and enduring this treatment of exercises is his way of overcoming those doubts. He needs to be there just like the current frat boys because to him, he has lost everything. Much in the same way Mitch had become co-dependent on the addiction of receiving violent treatment as a way of bonding; Brad also goes about punching his fellow pledges when asked. Brett realizes the danger that Brad has gotten himself into; not only has this caused tension between two brothers, but tension among the fraternity.
After a tragic situation where in the fraternity is jeopardized, Brett is able to make the conscious decision to do the right thing. Remember, it was Brett who chose to go back to the party rather than accompany his brother home that night. Thus, Brett has been haunted by his own guilt and self-doubt whether he had made the right choices. Being party to the new pledge activities further opened his eyes to the monsters that lurked inside him and his frat brothers. While they all considered it ritual, and right- of-passage, it was in fact inherently evil. This film was not about good and bad though, it was about good people doing bad things while striving to meet the standards of a social norm. Chance, Dixon, and the rest of the fraternity are stripped of their power and reveal what true damaged and misguided individuals they are once they have nothing.
In the closing moments, Brad and Brett return home and Brad is given the opportunity by local authorities to see a line-up of potential suspects that may have assaulted him. Brad is unable to identify the individual and even Brett wonders if Brad had intentionally let the guy off the hook. Brad simply replies “They all looked the same.” Despite escaping and overcoming the ordeals of pledging a fraternity, Brad sees nothing more than one unit. Dixon had said he wanted to see the goats as not individuals but as one unit, and the establishing shot of the film now reveals itself as we are the receiving end of the bullying and how it is all perceived as one, one unit, one group, one traumatic memory. Gone is the distinction of an individual’s humanity and they are simply a lost soul forever scarred.
The film works as an independent feature because it immediately sets the tone and through the editing, be it close ups and expressions on faces, to the masterful dialogue, it contains more insight than the viewer may get upon first viewing. It is almost too dark to be mainstream but too intricate and ingenious to be in the direct-to-video bargain bin. Ben Schnetzer’s portrayal of Brad is exceptional because he opens up to showing that he is in constant struggle of his role in the world, this character’s fighting to find himself and not just be a victim of an assault or a shadow in his brother’s light. There is not a moment where you feel disconnected with his character. Films are not shot in sequence most of the time, and yet Ben played the various degrees of intensity to create a cohesive flow over the course of 96 minutes. Nick Jonas tops himself, above and beyond his character Nate in the television series ‘Kingdom’, because he starts out appearing one-dimensional but soon we see the same duality that plays through the rest of the film. The emotional strife he allows to show in Brett’s face, eyes, and actions, are resonant of our own cores; triggering feelings inside ourselves of doubt and how we choose to deal with situations. The love, doubt, fear and strength for his brother propels itself off the screen and into our hearts with every scene thus asking us what truly constitutes if a person is doing right or wrong? Danny Flaherty’s Will, as discussed earlier, is the opposite end to that particular spectrum. Will’s journey is pathetic; does the audience really want to see this kid endure or is his ignorance of the brutality happening to him make us want to see him take more just to see if he can. That barbaric sickness that lays dormant in our genes from the beginning of time is toyed with, deliberately, by the filmmakers all the while showing us the disgusting and post-traumatic stress inducing results.
Goat was nominated for the Grand Special Prize at the Deauville Film Festival and also the Grand Jury Prize at the 2016 Sundance Film Festival. While it is a clearly a genre outing in the drama category, the film reminds us that you don’t need a mask-wearing, machete-slaying, killer stalking the streets in order to see the reality of horror in our own humanity; a horror that secretly exists inside all of us and God help us if ever truly released.
You can check out what’s happening with the Film on Twitter: @GoatMovie, don’t forget to #GOATMovie with your thoughts. You can also check out their official Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/goatmovie/
Growing up, I was a simple kid. I was innocent. I liked professional wrestling, Looney Tunes cartoons and the Ninja Turtles. I was your ordinary everyday kid of the early 90’s. I’d spend my days playing with my action figures and watching whatever VHS tape I could find. You might want to call what I did “child’s play?” I don’t know why Child’s Play hooked me like it did! Obviously, I wasn’t the only one who grew a fascination with that particular two foot doll.
These days, stores can’t keep the new iPhone in stock. Think back to 1983, before my time, when the Cabbage Patch Kid craze was sweeping the nation. Consumers were causing mini riots in order to get their hands on a doll that was “so ugly it was cute”. That Christmas, every kid in North America (if they were lucky enough) was waking up to see a fat faced, possibly freckled, doll with a funny haircut under their tree.
Enter Chucky
I do believe it was the simple childlike innocence that makes Child’s Play such a great horror film. From Chucky’s red hair that resembles the beloved Ronald McDonald, to the overalls many mothers dressed their little ones in when they shipped them off to school, Chucky was someone we could all relate too.
But the whole idea of a child’s doll coming to life to hunt and kill a six year old boy was a little farfetched wasn’t it? Like who could believe that? Just kick him and run, right? Well you’re right, but you know what they say, “you can’t keep a good guy down.” Almost every kid in the Western Hemisphere owned a doll so closely resembling the one Charles Lee Ray possessed himself into that it was beginning to become easy to feel…uneasy.
“Just kick him and run, right?”
In the decade of the slasher flick, we were becoming accustomed to machete wielding freaks that haunted us in our dreams all on Halloween night. But Chucky threw a wrench into that formula. While in many ways still falling under the “slasher movie” category, Child’s Play decided to act upon the incoherent fear that every kid has ever thought: “What if my toys actually come to life when I’m not playing with them?” Now not only were we scared of our He-Man figures coming to life, we now had that distinct fear in the form of Brad Dourif’s voice yelling at us, or cackling that psychopathic laugh, all the while we were being chased. It all became the perfect mixture of things to fear which we had no idea we were even scared off.
“Child’s Play was the first horror movie I ever watched”
And I hated it. I hated it so much I had to watch it daily; watching it daily while covering my eyes!!! I watched this movie so often and yet every time I did, I regretted it. Until the day my Mom had enough of my obsession with this movie that terrified me and just threw it right into the trash. That trash bin that now sat on the curb waiting for the pick-up. Only a few hours later my Dad pulled in from work, saw that my favorite VHS somehow got thrown in that trash bin and returned it to its rightful place in the VCR. I was addicted to the scare from that point forward. It was as if I was Andy, who loved my doll even though knowing something wasn’t quite right, and my Mom attempting to protect me….but he found a way back into my home.
This movie does have a bit of everything in it. It’s a real people pleaser. Think of it like this: if you like ghost stories, it has got a possession…if you like comedy, it has plenty of wit…and if you like romance then it has that beautiful love story between a Mother and her son. Lastly, and most importantly, if you like an adrenaline rush…it has plenty of scares and gore to keep you breathing heavy.
Child’s Play to get the Scream Factory Treatment
With Scream Factory releasing a brand new edition full of special features all heightening the awesomeness of this film, and a recent cast reunion during Horrorhound Weekend (so jealous I wasn’t there), then that just shows how this film has endured time and it’s sequels.
So if you want to remember how to get into the Halloween spirit this season, then simply pop in 1988’s own: Child’s Play.
You know what…if you really want to relive your childhood innocence before experiencing this film again, have one last bonfire in the backyard and try this old favorite campfire song on for size: “Ade Due Damballa….give me the power I beg of you!”
What movie scared you as a kid? Let us know in the comments section below.
SyFy Channel has been pumping out a tremendous amount of animal-run-amok creature features in the last decade. With Sharknado becoming a worldwide sensation, it is easy to get caught up in the world of man versus mecha-super-mega-octopus-shark-piranha-gators. On September 14th, 2013, viewers got to see Robo Croc. Sounds like Robocop right? Don’t worry as this film isn’t about a crocodile on the police force at all.
I was sold on the awesome cover art of a crocodile coming at you with robotic red eyes and a waterpark in flames.
No, when I saw the DVD cover almost a year later, I knew I absolutely had to buy this one. I didn’t even look at the cast list because I was sold on the awesome cover art of a crocodile coming at you with robotic red eyes and a waterpark in flames.
Don’t worry this film isn’t about a crocodile on the police force at all
The premise sees a failed missile attempt with the package of a mysterious origin fall to the Earth below landing right in a zoo. What are those odds? Lucky for those gene-eating nano-bites inside that there was a curious crocodile approaching. We are then greeted to our lead character Duffy (Corin Nemic, of Stargate SG-1 and Supernatural fame) – resident animal wrangler now called in because of a Government team investigating the zoo area, specifically the crocodile pen where “Stella” is missing. Stella, our curious crocodile, has gotten herself out of the pen and en route to find food. Mission: Eat & Kill.
A waterpark full of Teen Beat jocks and Maxim centerfold girls…
Spliced into these events, we meet two teenage boys making their way into the crowded waterpark – a waterpark full of Teen Beat jocks and Maxim centerfold girls. They’re a little out of their league but try to make the best of it until one gets caught with his hand on his… phone… snapping some video of another guy’s girlfriend. They get tossed in the pool and publicly humiliated but live and learn. Turns out, one of the guys, Rob (played by Jackson Bews – most recently seen on CW’s The Flash), is Duffy’s son. At first it felt a bit confusing throwing these characters in but now the viewer understands… leads son… waterpark… killer crocodile on the way!
Ahhh, so there we have our story. Honestly, it’s not that bad. The CGI of the crocodile is better than some standard fare in this market, with some gruesome kills and the editing is just tight enough that it doesn’t spoil the fun. B-movie clichés and obligatory one-liners play their part to remind us that the film isn’t meant to be taken seriously. The only downfall to the CGI comes as the crocodile evolves into his full robotic form which then suffers the “mecha-shark” style flaws and looks more like a commercial for a kid’s Roboraptor toy.
The special treat for genre fans is the inclusion of the lovable Dee Wallace (The Howling, Cujo, Rob Zombie’s Halloween) as Government Agent Riley. Wallace plays this role straight down the middle, hitting her marks and delivering her lines with just the right amount of enthusiasm that you can believe she wants to be there. Her character is also one of the most interesting, because the nanotech experiment is her baby and she’s got a few secrets for the viewer to discover over the course of the 90 minutes.
Like I said, this movie isn’t that bad. A croc of shit it isn’t. Grab a beer and some popcorn because Robo Croc is actually one of the more decent entries into this sub-genre of recent years.
Have you seen Robo Croc?
For more information on Robo Croc, visit www.Originreleasing.com
Editor’s Note: Jeff does a hell of a job getting us timely articles. For example this one should have been released around Valentine’s Day. I was lazy and messed it up. My apologies, Jeff!
Roses are red, violets are blue…
By 2001, horror fans had quite a fulfilling few years of gruesome greatness. The Scream sequels, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Urban Legend, Cherry Falls, School’s Out, The Faculty and Halloween: H20 brought the genre back to bloodlust days of the 80’s. Full of popular faces taking the primetime dramas by storm were now flooding the big screen. But amongst these, there was still no definitive take on the “holidays” or festive one-ofs (H20 an exception). Mainstream horror fans still had to rent My Bloody Valentine, a classic in its own right, come February 14th to get the horror fix. Those with Blockbuster Video accounts probably stumbled across Cupid (starring Hellraiser’s Ashley Laurence) or even Lover’s Lane (with Scary Movie’s Anna Faris). They were decent little entries, but nothing that captured the essence of Valentine’s Day.
Thankfully, during a business meeting, producer Dylan Sellers came across a novel by Tom Savage called Valentine. This discovery would launch the producer into selling his pitch to Warner Brothers to make a thriller set on Valentine’s Day. Through rewrites, the story would become less like the novel (which this author owns having immediately rushed out to the bookstore the opening weekend of this movie) and more about a modern day take on an issue that remains very real: childhood bullying. Chosen to direct was the man that made Urban Legend the stylish and gothic entry that it is, Jamie Blanks. The cast was chosen – and what an impressive cast it is – and off they went to British Columbia to shoot the film in what was originally a planned 37 day shoot.
I’d rather be burned alive!
The story begins at a grade-school dance, where we meet young Jeremy Melton attempting to get a dance with some of the most popular girls at school. Innocent Jeremy, with buck teeth and big glasses, seems like a decent enough kid but is treated to “I’d rather be burned alive!” by Paige, or the cut to the chase “Eww!” by Lily. The only one who gives him a chance is the pleasantly plump Dorothy who craves the attention the other girls get. However, once the popular boys find her making out with Jeremy, she changes the story and sides with the in-crowd causing a public humiliation of Jeremy getting stripped down to his underpants in the centre of the dance floor and beaten.
Flash forward ten years, we start with Shelley (Katherine Heigl) as she is on a bad date and anxious to get back to work on her finals. She does return to her school after ditching the weird Jason Marquette (Adam Harrington). This opening kill sets up the revenge plot premise with Shelley receiving a Valentine’s Day card containing a threatening message and the killer sporting a Cherub mask. Note that one of the kids in the dance prologue was a passerby wearing the same mask. The rest of the girls are reunited at Shelley’s funeral and quickly get caught up to speed on the mysterious circumstances surrounding her death courtesy of Detective Vaughn (Fulvio Cecere). The lead girl, Kate (Marley Shelton), is a writer who is also having unresolved romantic issues with alcoholic Adam Carr (David Boreanaz). While Lily (Jessica Cauffiel) and Paige (Denise Richards) have their freewill fun, it’s Dorothy (Jessica Capshaw) that is also having her share of crisis when she meets Campbell (Daniel Cosgrove). Still longing for the attention after these years, she unwillingly deceived by Campbell’s charm but doesn’t want to face the truth. Whether it be Adam, or Campbell, or a few other guys thrown in, they all play as good red herrings to the viewer. We never quite know who it could be despite some of the obvious signs.
The climax unfolds at Dorothy’s Valentine’s Day party where the Cherub killer continues the murderous pursuit. With only a few girls left, it’s up to Kate to figure out if the killer really is Jeremy Melton or someone else. The kills are relatively simple, and Paige’s demise in the hot tub is the most gruesome and violent – a deliberate action since she was also the most harsh to Jeremy.
The film was budgeted at an approximate $29,000,000.00 and despite the negative reviews from critics, was able to pull in an impressive $10,024,648.00 in its opening weekend of February 2nd, 2001. Overall, by the end of its theatrical run, the film grossed $36,684,100.00. That’s not bad for a film that was loathed by genre fans and critics; it made its money back. What was it that made it so terrible?
In my opinion, it is not a terrible film. The movie focuses on a very relatable issue as having gone through grade school as one of the unpopular, bullying does happen and rejection from girls is a bitter pill to swallow. Painful memories just don’t go away, but society has the expectations that everyone matures and the past is the past. There is counseling and support groups available to make sure that any violent tendencies don’t come to fruition. This film speaks on that level, when treatment hasn’t worked, and how it affects not just the victim but the culprits. As all the girls are now mature and working on their careers, they are still very aware of their actions and roles they played in damaging a boy’s life. The guilt still haunts them and how do they come to terms with that now that they are in danger. These are adults dealing with adult issues, and stalking is still one of the number one most dangerous issues that America, and the world, has to deal with. In an article on the movie in Fangoria #200, Marley Shelton elaborated on the reality of the issue, “When I was growing up, I was both a victim and a perpetrator in my time. It’s the strangest period of life, and the script is absolutely on the mark.” (p.77)
Each character represents an archetype of the societal stereotypes we place on our friends, colleagues, and even family. In my favorite scene, Dorothy lets loose on Kate and calls the girls out on what each archetype they represent. It’s a scene that I feel plays to the viewer and makes the audience associate with how Dorothy feels or what role they play in their own lives. That’s not the only intelligence found hidden in this movie, but also the narrative craft employed by the writers. Each characters death is representative of the comments made to Jeremy at the dance; a clever way of foreshadowing fates. One last bit to point out is the tongue-firmly-in-cheek irony that all these girls, considering they were the popular and sought after ones, are all either in relationship troubles or outright single. It’s an acknowledgement to show that the “in-crowd” don’t always remain that way.
This movie is not without its flaws. There are times when the acting seems a bit overdone and the dialogue comes from a cheap late night baby blue movie – the scenes with Detective Vaughn and Paige for instance. At most, characters are dropped without any send off. Jason Marquette, although discussed, is not seen again or even bumped off, nor is Max (Johnny Whitworth) and Brian (Woody Jeffreys) – his machismo attempt to seduce Paige gets him in hot wax – so we are left to believe that he survives the slaughter still hurting upstairs in the bedroom. However, this could be a blessing in disguise. Yes, many characters do bite the dust, but it was refreshing to see that additional characters that were brought in were not killed unnecessarily just to heighten the blood levels. I believe it was a wise move not only to keep the red herrings open, but also serve some reality that the killer was not after them, only people who threatened to interfere with the revenge process.
MORE HORROR
No Blu-Ray, not even a direct money grab transfer, has been released for this and it’s a shame. With the DVD (one of my first ever DVDs to own might I add) having some special features, it lacked what horror fans would actually enjoy. MORE HORROR! Yes, it was revealed shortly after, that cuts were made and fans didn’t get to see the “coincidental” pool of blood shaped like a heart which oozed out of Ruthie’s neck or the skin-sizzling aftermath of the iron kill on Gary. PLEASE WARNER BROTHERS – give us this stuff!
Perhaps it was the editing that created some of the aforementioned character confusion, as material was cut down to fit the running time. Even still, the film flows and becomes a welcome Valentine’s Day season shocker. The cast was impressive to say the least – David Boreanaz made his film debut here as he was a soaring favorite on Buffy and Angel, Denise Richards (who started in Starship Troopers and even played a Bond girl in The World Is Not Enough), Jessica Capshaw (she went onto play in The Practice and Grey’s Anatomy), Marley Shelton (Grindhouse, Scream 4) and lastly, Katherine Heigl who is no stranger to horror with Bride of Chucky and her behind-the-scenes attitude became “the talk” of Hollywood with her role on Grey’s Anatomy and the movie Knocked Up.
I don’t think a sequel would have been necessary despite the not-so-surprising reveal at the end of the movie, but the marketing potential was there. The Cherub killer would have made a great addition to McFarlane’s Movie Maniacs toyline or Neca’s Cinema of Fear.
Valentine’s Day 2015 just came to a close and I saved this movie to end my marathon. Let’s face it, the 2009 remake of My Bloody Valentine in 3D might be the best Valentine’s Day horror movie ever made, but it would not be February 14th if ‘Valentine’ was not on my MUST WATCH list. I implore any viewer to give this movie a look-see and enjoy an A-List cast, with the 80s slasher nostalgia, mixed in with some millennium pop-culture and concerns. To coin the movie’s tagline whenever I see my enjoyment of this movie bashed by critics, “Falling in love never hurt so bad.”
The original website is full of suspenseful flash antics, eerie music and interactivity where you can still send out the same Valentines that are seen in the movie: http://valentinemovie.warnerbros.com/
Rowe,Michael. (2001) Valentine Runs Red. FANGORIA. New York, USA: Starlog Group, Inc. www.Fangoria.com
“Enough of this Michael Myers bullshit.” was a line spoken by character John Strode (portrayed to brilliance by actor Bradford English) in Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers.
Turns out in 1995 when the movie was released theatrically, many of the Halloween fans and genre fans alike said the same thing. One of the most renowned cases of poor test audience and studio interference, Halloween 6 has become one of the most talked about entries in the franchise. Many feel that it was a hack-and-slash mess that left fans more sour than satisfied. It was not until after the release when the world of horror learned of the original edit – a concept and piece that much more related to Screenwriter Daniel Farrands’ vision and brought the series full circle.
On September 23rd, Anchor Bay Entertainment and Scream Factory (two distributors who have become Gods to the many VHS/DVD/Blu-Ray collectors out there) have combined their strengths to produce the ultimate combination of the Halloween Franchise into one large box set. Although countless versions have been released over the years, this box set not only has new material but the long awaited and too-often-bootlegged version of Halloween 6 known as “The Producer’s Cut.”
Thanks to Rue-Morgue magazine out of Toronto, Halloween fans got treated to the first ever theatrical release of The Producer’s Cut on Thursday night. The magazine routinely hosts movies in what they have called their ‘Cinemacabre’ movie nights. Rue-Morgue Editor-in-Chief Dave Alexander took a few minutes to discuss how it came about.
“Well, with Cinemacabre, I’m always trying to do things that are a unique experience,” said Alexander, “or a little bit outside of the box. There is a lot more competition for genre screenings especially in Toronto, a lot more than when we started Cinemacabre years ago. We showed the Director’s Cut of Mimic when it came out and Guillermo Del Toro came out to the screening and did a Q&A with us so I kind of had that stuff on my mind.”
With many cases in filmmaking, often what is seen on screen was not the original concept and Alexander continues that “the idea [is] that we have these interesting filmmakers [that] have their version or what’s close to their version shown on the big screen. The fans love it and often the companies like it too because it’s good promotion for them coming out so it’s just kind of one of those things that work well for everybody.”
On the Producer’s Cut showing specifically, Alexander says it is for “the horror fans and for the Halloween fans that drove in from out of town that want to get a chance to see a totally unique screening.”
The film begins on October 30, 1995 and picks up six years after the events of Halloween 5
The now 16-year-old Jamie Lloyd (sadly not portrayed by original actress Danielle Harris due to the studio unwilling to negotiate a fair salary) is being treated inside Smith’s Grove Warren County Sanitarium. Through a flashback, the audience gets to see how Jamie ended up in the clutches of the mysterious Man-In-Black and still threatened by her Uncle, Michael Myers. From there, we are introduced to the Strode family – relatives of Jamie Lee Curtis’s Laurie character – who are now living in the old Myers house. Besides Michael and Jamie, the main character we are pleasantly re-introduced to is Dr. Loomis portrayed by the legendary Donald Pleasance. Sadly this was Pleasance’s final appearance in the franchise and the swan song for Dr. Loomis. Pleasance’s untimely death was not foreseen and unfortunately, caused the iconic character minimalized screen-time in the theatrical release because no new footage could be shot. With over 40+ minutes of scenes cut or altered, it is no wonder fans were left with a product that bordered on dismal. If The Producer’s Cut had of been released in its original form, it very well could be the best of the sequels in the series. With the emphasis on the origins of Michael’s evil that included the ancient rituals of Sam Hain and Celtic Legend (all primary factors into the essence of the Halloween lore), the film fleshes out and brings to a close certain elements established through the previous three Myers entries. Eliminating spoilers as much as possible, it is safe to say though that by the end of this cut, Loomis has now discovered why he was destined to battle Myers for all these years but no matter what curse was imposed on Myers as a child, he is what original creator John Carpenter always envisioned, his own, independent agent of evil. If this were to be the last entry in the franchise (which was not the intention but could have been following Pleasances death and prior to Jamie Lee Curtis willing to return), The Producer’s Cut brings closure to the entire series while leaving just enough for the fans and the story to retain its longevity.
Lively helping-hand and current Rue-Morgue Intern, Brett McNeill, had not seen the theatrical cut so watching the series up to that point; it was a first time experience which left him very pleased. After the credits rolled, McNeill was happy to share why he found it to be “the best Halloween sequel.” Many fans that have seen the movie will probably agree with him that “the fact that it all happened in the Myers house” brought relativity back to the original and because of it, brought the audience “more suspense.”
Alexander elaborated on the film’s significance to the franchise, “For the people who know The Producer’s Cut, it gets a lot more into the whole curse of Thorn subplot which was subsequently abandoned after they re-cut it, which, was one of the most interesting things to happen to the Halloween series when they introduced occult nature to the evil of Michael Myers. You get to sort of go back into that world and there is a real interest in it. There are people that have done fan films based around the whole curse of Thorn cult stuff that we’ve done articles on. It’s sort of like a ‘What If?’ kind of scenario. What if the Halloween franchise went in that direction and embraced this whole other path.”
Both the theatrical and the Producer’s Cut plot-points were abandoned for the next installment, Halloween: H20 – a decision that was made during the course of production by Jamie Lee Curtis. H20 was not without its share of script revisions but in relation to Halloween 6, could not compare. Alexander mentioned that he “talked to a fellow tonight that has read several different versions of the script that were posted online and this is still far from what Screenwriter Daniel Farrands had in mind, but at least it puts a whole different coat of paint on the series.”
The landscape of Film and Television in 2014 has certainly changed and that is where the importance of The Producer’s Cut cannot be overlooked. For almost 20 years, petitions surfaced online pleading for the movie’s release onto DVD. It is fitting then that this pinnacle version of Halloween 6 is now getting the treatment it deserves and speaks volumes for the power of the fans and followers of these films.
In a last note, Alexander brought up a very valid take on the subject: “I think that’s what is significant [about the film]. We sort of live in an age now where everything comes out, people’s scripts get posted online [and] stuff gets leaked. People talk about what could have been, you know they make trailers for movies that don’t exist and posters for things that don’t exist so it’s kind of come into the control of fans. They let their imaginations kinda run wild on it and I think this [film] fits firmly into that mindset.”
It is a blessing that events such as Cinemacabre and the people responsible exist. Through the support of the distributor, Anchor Bay Entertainment (who now own the rights to this version), the Rue-Morgue crew was able to bring life back to the Halloween series one last time. Maybe by coming out to The Royal Theatre, and buying the upcoming Box Set, the admiration of The Producer’s Cut release allowed fans victory and closure; allowing them to properly say with pride:
I do believe it was the simple childlike innocence that makes Child’s Play such a great horror film. From Chucky’s red hair that resembles the beloved Ronald McDonald, to the overalls many mothers dressed their little ones in when they shipped them off to school, Chucky was someone we could all relate too.
“Enough of this Michael Myers bullshit.” was a line spoken by character John Strode (portrayed to brilliance by actor Bradford English) in 
