We all know that the holidays can be stressful, so here are a few of our original Christmas cocktail recipes that are sure to take the edge off. Leave all your notions that sweet, chocolatey holiday cocktails are too girly in your panty drawer, Susan, because this is how you do it right.
40oz. of Horror Hot ToddyIngredients:
2 oz. Wild Turkey Special Reserve
1 or 2 tea bags (black tea)
1 Tbsp honey
1 slice of lemon
1 cup of hot water
1 cinnamon stick
Directions:
Make like your grandma and boil some water in a tea kettle. When the whistle’s a blowin’ the water’s ready for flowin’ — so pour the hot water into a good sized coffee mug. That’s right, we’re drinking this booze-ooze out of a mug like a 1950s high school principal. Now take your tea bags and tea-bag that water until it’s good and brown. Be careful with this step because this tea is as hot as a freshly-baked Totino’s Pizza Roll. Dump in the Wild Turkey Special Reserve and the rest of your ingredients. Give it a slow stir with a cinnamon stick and garnish the rim with a slice of lemon. Sip slowly on a cold winter’s night and this drink will cure what ails ya!
If you’re feeling especially festive, finish this tea with clove *cigarette.
*Surgeon Brandon’s Warning: Smoking causes cancer and drinking gets you drunk.
Drunken Elf EggnogIngredients:
2 oz. Courvoisier Cognac
5 oz. eggnog
Ground cinnamon
Ground nutmeg
Directions:
Typical holiday spiked eggnog calls for any run-of-the-mill brandy, but up in here, we’re taking a page out of The Ladies’ Man playbook and using Courvoisier Cognac! Other than using some fine cognac, toss any notion of classy out the fucking window and fill up a Moose Mug with eggnog. Slurp the top of the eggnog down to make room for the ‘gnac. Open the bottle of Courvoisier and take a good whiff — savor that shit (because it smells awesome) — then pour it into the eggnog. Give the Moose Mug a little swirl, then add a couple dashes of cinnamon and nutmeg. Drink it down, Cousin Eddie, because it’s Christmas!
Hit the Floor Hot ChocolateIngredients:
1 can of alcohol-infused whipped cream
32 oz. instant hot chocolate
6 oz. peppermint schnapps
Bacardi 151 cherries
Chocolate sprinkles
Directions:
2 – 5 days before you plan on serving this cocktail, put cherries in a jar and fill up the jar with Bacardi 151. Seal up the jar and put it in your refrigerator. Make your instant hot chocolate according to the directions on the package. Give a little to your kids and tell them to go to bed or else Santa’s going to skip your house. Now take the rest and add your favorite brand of peppermint schnapps. Give it a stir and top it off with a healthy squirt of loaded whipped cream. For a real kick in the pants, top the cream with a Bacardi 151 cherry. If you’re feeling like Martha Stewart, grate some chocolate dust or add some chocolate sprinkles on top. If you’re enjoying this drink at a frat party, dare all your bros to take shots of the remaining Bacardi 151 cherry juice.
(serves about 4 people… or yourself depending on how bad/good your night is.)
Always remember to drink responsibly and have a happy holiday!
Bub’s doing a wine review, suckahs, for two reasons: One he’s drunk, and two wine is red like blood and zombies and shit. This wine happens to be a bottle of four buck chuck aka Crane Lake Pinto [sic] Noir. Noir means death and shit in France and Pinto is either a shitty car they make in France, or it means that this wine is made out of beans — but this don’t taste like no bean wine. Would a bum that only drinks Pino Noir be considered a beano?
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What you want to do with this here wine is let it air out in a decanter (that’s French for pretentious) for about a week. Then guzzle that shit like it’s nobody’s business.
Oh yeah it’s good once you air it out. See ya next time, suckahs.
We’ve scoured the earth in search of the best of the best when it comes to Halloween boozin’. Here’s our top 6 spooktacular Halloween cocktails with an original 40oz. Of Horror Halloween cocktail recipe included. Let us know what you think. We can’t be held accountable if you have a night of #BoozinGoneBad…
6. Black Devil MartiniIngredients:
2 oz. Dark Rum
1/2 oz. Dry Vermouth
2 Black Olives
Orange Sugar (optional)
Directions:
Chill a martini glass by filling it with ice water and setting it aside. Now pour the dark rum and dry vermouth into a shaker over a handful of crushed ice. Put the lid on the shaker and shake the shit out of it. Shake it until the shaker becomes very cold. Dump the ice water out of the martini glass? Is it frosty? Cool. Rim the glass with orange sugar. Now strain the mixture into the martini glass and garnish with the black olives.
5. Zombie Gut Punch CocktailIngredients:
10 ounces Crystal Head vodka
5 ounces triple sec
2 ounces bitters
1 cup fresh squeezed blood orange juice
2 cups black cherry soda
Grenadine, for rim
Directions:
Frist of all, if you’re not using Crystal Head vodka, Dan Aykroyd won’t be happy. In a large punch bowl filled with ice, pour vodka, triple sec, bitters, blood orange juice and black cherry soda. Chomp your teeth and stir the concoction like you’re hungry for human brains. Rim each glass with grenadine before filling with punch mixture, and serve. Drink and hope for the best.
4. Bloody Brain ShooterIngredients:
1 1/4 oz. strawberry vodka
1/8 oz. Rose’s lime juice
3/4 oz. Bailey’s Irish Cream
Splash of grenadine
Directions:
Chill vodka for better smoothness. Add vodka and lime juice to a shaker, shake and strain into a shot glass. Using a straw, dip some Bailey’s Irish Cream into the shot. Once you submerge the straw into the Bailey’s put your finger on top of the straw to hold the Bailey’s in the straw. Dip the straw tip into the vodka and slowly release your top finger. The Bailey’s will curdle a little bit due to the lime juice and you should be able to make strands of Bailey’s. Repeat the straw/Bailey’s process to build a “brain” in the shot glass. Add a splash of grenadine to the concoction to add the ‘blood’ to the mix. Shoot it down your throat like a bloody-brain-bullet.
3. ZombieIngredients:
1/2 ounce white rum
1 1/2 ounces golden rum
1 ounce dark rum
1/2 ounce 151-proof rum
1 ounce lime juice
1 teaspoon pineapple juice
1 teaspoon papaya juice
1 teaspoon superfine sugar
Directions:
Stir together all these ingredients except the 151 and pour into a 14-ounce glass three-fourths full of cracked ice. Float the 151 as a lid (by pouring it into a spoon and gently dipping it under the surface of the drink). Then, if the spirit moves you, take a match to this mixture; it will burn. Garnish with mint (either straight or dipped in lime juice and then superfine sugar) and/or fruit. (A particularly fetching touch: On a toothpick, impale a lemon slice or pineapple cube between two maraschino cherries and lay this fruit kabob atop of the drink). A couple of these and you will be knocked on your ass like you got in a fight with Rick Grimes.
2. Brain HemorrhageIngredients:
1/2 – 3/4 oz. Peach Schnapps
1-2 Tbl. of Baileys
1 tsp grenadine
Directions:
Pour the Peach Schnapps into a good sized shot glass. Float the Baileys on top of the Schnapps. Dropp the grenadine through the Baileys. If it looks disgusting as fuck, you made this drink to perfection. Drink and let your brain explode.
1. 40oz. Of Horror’s Jason Takes ManhattanIngredients:
2 oz Old Grand-dad 114
1/2 oz sweet vermouth
2-3 dashes Angostura bitters
2 Bacardi 151 cherries
Directions:
This is a 40oz. of Horror original, so watch out! And if anyone ever tells you a Manhattan is a chick’s drink, tell them, “Piss off!” They probably can’t handle whiskey anyway.
2 – 5 days before you plan on serving this cocktail, put cherries in a jar and fill up the jar with Bacardi 151. Seal up the jar and put it in your refrigerator. Pour the Old Grand-dad 114, sweet vermouth, and bitters into a shaker over a handful of ice. Now shake that shit. Shake it super cold! Strain into a chilled cocktail glass and plop in a couple of the aforementioned 151 cherries. Tell your friends, “Goodnight!” and drink it down.
Beer might kill a zombie, but it can’t kill a Bub.
Still doing that horror theme-thing, sons! That’s all the motivation I needed to pick up this bomber of Wake Up Dead by Left Hand Brewing—not to mention the fact that it’s packed with all of that nutritious and delicious alcohol, kid, 10.2 percent to be precise. That’s right! Bub just hit you with some magical math that probably blew your minds. So stop jockin’, and go find yourself a bottle of this shiz, and get crunk! You won’t regret it.
Alright, back to real life. This beer is good. I’m not lying. Why would I lie to you? I’m sure as hell not getting paid by Left Hand Brewing (or 40oz of Horror for that matter…Shhhh.) Do Bub a favor and write in to James and Chad and tell em ol’ Bub needs some of that ad money.
The beer has little to no head like you because you don’ t have a girlfriend, and you got no game.
This Russian imperial stout pours dark as night and tastes like death (in a good way because of that delicious 10.2). The beer has little to no head like you because you don’ t have a girlfriend, and you got no game. It’s got all that good stuff like cocoa, coffee and a little bit of that smoke. It’s also got some burnt toffee goodness as well as a distinctive alcohol taste. By distinctive I mean just plain ol’ alcohol.
You should go buy this beer!
Check out Bub’s Beer Blog.
Taste: 35oz
Aroma: 39oz
Appearance: 39oz
Palate: 36oz
Overall: 37oz
*Ratings out of 40oz of Horror
Het Anker’s Lucifer
ABV 8%
Bub’s at it again with the horror themed beers. Getting sick of it yet? I’ll bet not. Sure, this is probably more biblical themed than horror, but Satan does make his way into some horror flicks. I’m not a horror expert, so I’ll just leave that to James and Chad. Who knows? Maybe this very blog could convince them to do a Lucifer themed podcast or at least an article. How about it 40oz of Horror? The people want Satan…er, at least reviews/comments on movies with Satan in them.
I’m a big fan of picking a beer based on the name and/or labeling. I guess when your life’s goal is to try 5,000 unique beers, you have to pick some kind of method to begin drinking. I could go alphabetically, but what’s the fun in that? So, this bottle of Lucifer caught my eye, firstly because the label is cool. Who doesn’t like a cartoonish-looking Lucifer standing on top of his name with some sweet flames in the background? Plus, the bottle had a cork. Maybe the cork is to put up your bum after you drink this brew? After all WWSD (What Would Satan Do)—I think he would put the cork in your pooper.
So, some insight into my nickname/pen name/blog name and a tie to this delicious Belgian brew: When I drink, I’m known as Bub. Sometimes when I morph into Bub, Bub ends up drinking too much and turns into Beezelbub—I know it’s spelled wrong, but that’s how “Bub” pronounces it. Beelzebub (correct spelling) is another name for Satan. So, there you have it. And yes, my alter ego has an alter ego.
“I think satan would put the cork in your pooper.”
Enough about me, and more about the beer! The beer is a Belgian pale ale, which is basically taking a general term for a type of beer and combining with another general term. Whatever. The beer has a hoppy essence to it but is not overwhelming. In the background is a yeast taste, a spice and hay-like quality that when blended together is actually quite nice. Belgians aren’t for everyone, but if this sounds like something you would enjoy, then by all means, try this beer. The finish was also quite good with more of the yeast shining through. I find this to be the case with a lot of Belgians. Those Belgians—always high and mighty with their yeast infections, pssh.
Check out Bub’s Beer Blog.
Taste: 34oz
Aroma: 37oz
Appearance: 37oz
Palate: 34oz
Overall: 36oz
*Ratings out of 40oz of Horror
