Drink, drank, drunk!

While you kids are hashtagging #YOLO, Bub is gash-bashing some sweet, sweet nectar of the gods. TV Party Rye IPA from Revolution Brewing Company is a solid beer and should be considered the next time you’re sitting around your TV… instead of being outraged about the current state of our government and all the NSA snooping going on. I, for one, would like to thank Revolution Brewing Compant for making us all feel bad about our lack of political protests. Because, after all, at least they’re brewing beer dammit to soma-coat the masses.

Editor’s note: I have no idea what the fuck was going on here… just go with it.

Check out other reviews from Bub

Speaking of soma-coating, I’d like to give a shout out to one my fans, Henry J Winchester. Thanks for all the support. Bub appreciates it.

Buy this beer. Get off your butt. Get around a fire. Drink this beer.

What do you think of Revolution Brewing Company TV Party?

The blur of this photo surely indicates the kind of night Bub had while writing this review.

Originally published: March 11, 2014

Hey sons, Bub is back and mo drunk then eva!

Editor’s note: This blog was written fireside… After many beers… MANY beers.

This week’s review is Dale’s Pale Ale. Condisider this beer the High Life of craft beers, boys. This refined beer-in-a-can packs a hoppy punch with an overwhelming smooth finish… like your boyfriend in yo mouf.

The price is right for this sixer at only $8.99. The average man could be drinking this beer all night for cheap. If all 5 and a half inches of you can’t handle that then go back to sucking on your momma’s teat, brah.

Dale’s Pale Ale is the beer for you, kid. It gets 33 out of 40 ounces of horror. Deal wit it! I heard somethin’ ’bout you mama that you might not like. I heard she was a mound that held in the ocean waters.

What do you think about Dale’s Pale Ale?

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Bub’s doing a wine review, suckahs, for two reasons: One he’s drunk, and two wine is red like blood and zombies and shit. This wine happens to be a bottle of four buck chuck aka Crane Lake Pinto [sic] Noir. Noir means death and shit in France and Pinto is either a shitty car they make in France, or it means that this wine is made out of beans — but this don’t taste like no bean wine. Would a bum that only drinks Pino Noir be considered a beano?

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What you want to do with this here wine is let it air out in a decanter (that’s French for pretentious) for about a week. Then guzzle that shit like it’s nobody’s business.

Crane Lake Pinot Noir: Wine. Blood. French. Bub. 

Oh yeah it’s good once you air it out. See ya next time, suckahs.

Beer might kill a zombie, but it can’t kill a Bub.

Still doing that horror theme-thing, sons!  That’s all the motivation I needed to pick up this bomber of Wake Up Dead by Left Hand Brewing—not to mention the fact that it’s packed with all of that nutritious and delicious alcohol, kid, 10.2 percent to be precise. That’s right! Bub just hit you with some magical math that probably blew your minds. So stop jockin’, and go find yourself a bottle of this shiz, and get crunk! You won’t regret it.

Alright, back to real life. This beer is good. I’m not lying. Why would I lie to you? I’m sure as hell not getting paid by Left Hand Brewing (or 40oz of Horror for that matter…Shhhh.) Do Bub a favor and write in to James and Chad and tell em ol’ Bub needs some of that ad money.

The beer has little to no head like you because you don’ t have a girlfriend, and you got no game.

This Russian imperial stout pours dark as night and tastes like death (in a good way because of that delicious 10.2).  The beer has little to no head like you because you don’ t have a girlfriend, and you got no game. It’s got all that good stuff like cocoa, coffee and a little bit of that smoke. It’s also got some burnt toffee goodness as well as a distinctive alcohol taste. By distinctive I mean just plain ol’ alcohol.

You should go buy this beer!

Check out Bub’s Beer Blog.

Bub’s Rating*

Taste: 35oz
Aroma: 39oz
Appearance: 39oz
Palate: 36oz
Overall: 37oz

*Ratings out of 40oz of Horror

Het Anker’s Lucifer
ABV 8%

Bub’s at it again with the horror themed beers. Getting sick of it yet? I’ll bet not. Sure, this is probably more biblical themed than horror, but Satan does make his way into some horror flicks. I’m not a horror expert, so I’ll just leave that to James and Chad. Who knows? Maybe this very blog could convince them to do a Lucifer themed podcast or at least an article. How about it 40oz of Horror? The people want Satan…er, at least reviews/comments on movies with Satan in them.

I’m a big fan of picking a beer based on the name and/or labeling. I guess when your life’s goal is to try 5,000 unique beers, you have to pick some kind of method to begin drinking. I could go alphabetically, but what’s the fun in that?  So, this bottle of Lucifer caught my eye, firstly because the label is cool. Who doesn’t like a cartoonish-looking Lucifer standing on top of his name with some sweet flames in the background? Plus, the bottle had a cork. Maybe the cork is to put up your bum after you drink this brew? After all WWSD (What Would Satan Do)—I think he would put the cork in your pooper.

So, some insight into my nickname/pen name/blog name and a tie to this delicious Belgian brew: When I drink, I’m known as Bub. Sometimes when I morph into Bub, Bub ends up drinking too much and turns into Beezelbub—I know it’s spelled wrong, but that’s how “Bub” pronounces it.  Beelzebub (correct spelling) is another name for Satan. So, there you have it. And yes, my alter ego has an alter ego.

“I think satan would put the cork in your pooper.”

Enough about me, and more about the beer! The beer is a Belgian pale ale, which is basically taking a general term for a type of beer and combining with another general term. Whatever. The beer has a hoppy essence to it but is not overwhelming. In the background is a yeast taste, a spice and hay-like quality that when blended together is actually quite nice. Belgians aren’t for everyone, but if this sounds like something you would enjoy, then by all means, try this beer. The finish was also quite good with more of the yeast shining through. I find this to be the case with a lot of Belgians. Those Belgians—always high and mighty with their yeast infections, pssh.

Check out Bub’s Beer Blog.

Bub’s Rating*

Taste: 34oz
Aroma: 37oz
Appearance: 37oz
Palate: 34oz
Overall: 36oz

*Ratings out of 40oz of Horror

Bub’s Beer Count: 437
Beer: Rigor Mortis Quadrupel
Brewery: Brasserie Dieu Du Ciel
ABV: 10.5%

Well for those who follow me on Twitter (@Bubsbeerblog) or Facebook (facebook.com/bubsbeerblog), you should know by now that I was on a diet and therefore couldn’t drink for a couple of weeks. It’s safe to say that I can officially drink again and in fact did so a little too much over the weekend in Louisville. I might have actually blacked out, wandered away from my group and got lost somewhere in downtown Louisville. Thankfully, some cops found me on top of a parking garage and were able to contact my friends (Shout out to Brandon Gentry for taking care of my drunk ass) and safely take me back to my hotel.

Moral of the story:

“Don’t black out in Louisville; you might get raped.“

It is Kentucky after all.

Continuing with the horror theme, I decided to buy a beer called Rigor Mortis Quadrupel. My inner pervert was enticing me to buy it, and yes, as I was buying it, I  had stiffies, boners and wood on the brain—I don’t swing that way for those who are curious; I just perpetually have the mind of a 13- year- old.  I took this stiff bottle home and tried it out.

Stiffies, boners and wood on the brain

Rigor Mortis is a Quadrupel. If the Quadrupel thing confuses you, then you’re not alone. There is really no standard of what a Quadrupel is, but typically, they’re a Belgian-style brew that tends to be over 10% ABV. This was definitely in that category. The alcohol wasn’t overwhelming and the beer had  several different layers of flavor. The start was almost a Saison taste of hay or straw; the middle was sweeter. The aftertaste was reminiscent of a sour but not ultra vinegary. It was a very complex beer, in my opinion. Despite all of this, I still thought that this beer was nothing special. It was good but not ‘Top 50’ territory or anything—maybe not even ‘Top 100’ territory. We may never know because I’ll probably never compile a list. The competition is stiff. Tee hee.

Bub’s Rating*

Taste: 31
Aroma: 36
Appearance: 39
Palate: 28
Overall: 33

*Ratings out of 40oz of Horror