Prime real estate is hard to come by on my movie shelf now a days. Between trying to track down my favorite flicks on blu ray or making room for the new shit I get it’s difficult to fit them all into one place. So I’ve decide to go through and find movies that I’ve only watched once. I know, I know, I actually have a couple flicks I bought and never watched again. Sad isn’t it. Well for the record, Chad has movies on his shelf (quite a few) he hasn’t even watched, and he has had them for fucking ever! So I don’t feel all that bad. Here are a couple flicks I have that are getting the boot today. Not because they are bad movies, well, ok…..some are. But because I have so many movies I enjoy watching over and over. Lets take out the trash shall we…
Ah the train wreck that is Joy Ride. This movie even spawned a sequel. For it being two bucks at the local Disc Replay I had to pick it up. I think this movie would of worked better as a Sci Fi original on Friday nights. I like Steve Zahn and Leelee Sobieski but this flick just didn’t do it for me. I found this movie to be a mesh up of Highwaymen and the truck from Jeepers Creepers. Worth a watch if you need to kill some time. Sorry Joy Ride, you’re outta here!
Italian Cannibal movies on the whole are very much deserving of their notorious reputations. Tons of gore, laughable portrayals of jungle savages and downright heinous animal torture, but after viewing they always leave a bad taste in your mouth. Kinda like, “Did just watch that?” When I saw this the cover art screamed at me. Buy! Buy! Buy! It was written by Dardano Sacchetti of ZOMBIE 2, THE BEYOND and it looked to follow in the footsteps of JUNGLE HOLOCAUST and EATEN ALIVE! Movie like these are best watched with friends to see their reactions to the gore and over the top nudity and pure cheese of some scenes. I just kinda forced my viewing through this flick. Maybe next time with friends, but Massacre in Dinosaur Valley you’re gone too!
Mortuary centers around a small family, led by the recently-widowed mother, who has “gone back to school” to study mortuary sciences. This school is unnamed, but by her performance, sounds about on par with night-school taxidermy courses. I wanted to like this movie but didn’t. Bottom line. It had some cool make-up and effects I liked with the zombies but it didn’t ever pull me in. My four bucks should of went to a 40 of High Life instead. Maybe if I was trashed I would of enjoyed it more. Then again, beer makes everything better doesn’t it.