The Fly (1986)

‘THE FLY’ (1986) – No Insecticide Needed!

I have never seen David Cronenberg’s The Fly (1986)

For years, my only real knowledge of The Fly was when Bart Simpson turned into half-boy/half-insect in a Simpson’s “Treehouse of Horrors” Halloween episode where his mom Marge beat him over the head with a broomstick. Needless to say, I was never jumping at the heels to watch the movie that was being joked about. Aaannnddd I’ve never been a big fan of Jeff Goldblum (I’m allowed to have an opinion!). Aaaaaaaannnnnnnnddddddddd I’ve never fully bought into a horror movie based upon something that is so small and insignificant; my dog doesn’t even always feel a fly when it lands on his nose.

But here we are, after years and years of having next to no interest, one day I caved into my Netflix suggestions and decided I’d turn on the 1986 David Cronenberg remake of the early classic – just have it on for some background noise as I cleaned the basement.

No cleaning was done. This movie, which I thought was going to come off as a campy, dated and lame venture, turned into one of my new favorites. I’m not sure exactly how the movie would like to be categorized. Whether it is a Sci-Fi or a Drama, I’m sticking with calling it a horror movie. This movie itself is 31 years old and has some of the most unsettling, skin crawling scenes that I have ever seen.

Keep reading after the trailer

Seeing as how the premise was what made me keep my distance, it didn’t take me long to completely buy into the scenario at all. Brief rundown: Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum) tries getting into the pants of journalist Veronica Quaife (Geena Davis) the only way a nerd knows how and that’s by showing her his newest science experiment. Brundle gets Veronica into his dimly lit and ultra rapey science lab/apartment. Brundle shows off his two giant honeycomb looking teleportation devices. These devices, he claims, can transfer a living being from one pod to the next. After multiple test runs, Brundle (now banging Veronica on the reg) decides he has so much faith in his creation, that it’s time for he, himself, to be the first human to experience teleportation. That is until a pesky little fly secretly enters the pod with the unknowing Brundle. Once the transfer of bodies is finished, Brundle’s DNA is now mixed with fly DNA; slowly exposing itself within the confines of the greater part of the 1 hour, 36 minute runtime.

The Fly (1986)
Yo Veronica, wanna see my science experiment?

As silly as that may all sound, the players take it so serious and the movie is played in such a tone, that it isn’t hard for you to invest into it – maybe that’s credit to Cronenberg. 80s movies always had such great scores, and the great acting only bettered this movie, but the make-up, THE MAKE-UP and effects were unreal.

Birth of The Fly

Seeing Seth Brundle slowly turn into a gross looking insect/hunchback was crazy fun to watch; each evolved stage into ugliness becoming more and more uncomfortable to witness. The greasiness and oozing of the puss and the hair growth could be a horror movie in itself. McFarlane Toys made this version of the fly immortalized in their ‘Movie Maniacs’ toyline back in the early 2000s. In one “birth” scene, my girlfriend, who watches most horror movies alongside me (to her dismay), had to actually up and leave because it was so gross and uncomfortable – something I’ve NEVER seen her do!

The Fly (1986) Practical Effects
The greasiness and oozing of the puss and the hair growth could be a horror movie in itself.

“It’s Jeff Goldblum’s best movie so STFU”

This movie is worth finding if you have not already seen it and if you have, revisit this particular lab because it’s an experiment worth repeating. The Fly, although a remake, is a great throwback to how fantastic movies from that era were. The simple fact that it’s so unsettling and revolting keeps you thinking about it long after the credits roll – to me, that’s always the sign of a good movie. It’s Jeff Goldblum’s best movie (my opinion so STFU), and it’s the best insect-inspired horror movie I’ve ever seen. Bonus credit in that it has a 100% “girlfriend will leave you alone while watching” rating. To a modern generation, I feel that ‘The Fly’ is so underrated and really deserves to be in the discussion of all-time greats. As for ‘The Fly II’, maybe I’ll hold off just a bit to savor the enjoyment of this movie. Parting words: just remember to be afraid. Be very afraid.

Friday The 13th The Game

JASON LIVES and he didn’t go to Hell: A review of the new ‘Friday the 13th’ The Game

It’s here! The Friday The 13th The Game review that I had all intentions on writing a few days after its release on May 26th. Now, almost four weeks later, I was finally able to pull myself away from my Xbox One and sit down to write this mediocre yet passionate “review”.

I’m not a regular big gamer although I am a sucker for the Call of Duty games. I loved Grand Theft Auto 5 and every few years, I’ll buy the newest wrestling game or Madden release. But it’s not uncommon for my Xbox to go months without ever being powered on; just sitting dusty on my entertainment center. These days however, this bad-boy is working overtime. I’m putting in daily work trying to master this ever frustrating yet horror super fun rat race of a game.

I felt like I heard rumors about Friday the 13th: The Game several years ago (and not just the nostalgia of the original NES F13, I mean a brand new game). Finally, this past May, a horror genre game was coming and offered something to get excited about. When the Kickstarter was formed back when, I think I even threw in a couple bucks just to feel like I had some small part in this seeming non-existent idea. That was really the last I remember about hearing anything about this game until I finally saw the trailer and the release date break earlier this year. Still, I would be lying if I said I didn’t have my hesitations. From the beginning, we all knew it was going to be a small independent game; fabricated by a small group of dudes and God bless em. The day arrived – the horror genre fanboys were buzzing – and got right onto that download. Not surprisingly, there were multiple, multiple glitches and errors but rest assured that almost month out, these “technical difficulties” have been fixed. Setbacks aside, the game was still an absolute blast (if you could access a party to play in!). My expectations weren’t only met, they were blown away. The graphics, the characters, the environment, the music – the way it stayed true to the movies but most of all, the KILLS that no MPAA could ever get their hands on!

Keep reading after the trailer

As of right now, the only way to play is online and working with other online players. There is rumor that an offline story mode will be released this summer, but really it’s almost unneeded as online is so much goddamn fun. Understandable that sometimes gamers will just want to work alone at their own pace and time so that’s fair. Hell may even be just as scary if not more that way.

The game isn’t rocket science in theory, but it is in gameplay. The synopsis is basically this: you either start as Jason or as one of the eight camp counselors. If you’re Jason, you try to kill everyone. If you are counselors, you try to survive. Got it? Good. See – simple. You play in one of the three maps of the game: all familiar locations from the franchise including the Packanack Lodge, Higgins Haven & Camp Crystal Lake. On each map, there are multiple cabins and houses you must raid to look for weapons, tools and other items to help you win the game. To survive Jason’s murderous spree, there are a few options available – you can simply run out the clock since each cabin has multiple hiding places such as under beds or in closets. These work well but don’t get to comfortable because Jason can sense your fear and hear you breathing so it is a gamble either way. You can also collect different parts for the car or the boat and escape that way (sorry – this boat doesn’t head to Manhattan but imagine!) or you can find the fuse for the phone and call the cops. It takes approximately five minutes for the cops to arrive so use your time wisely; you must find the proper exit they are at and get to safety. Oh yes – Jason is still on the hunt so hope he doesn’t find you by then.

Friday The 13th The Game

Are you ready though for this? SPOILER ALERT! The real piece de resistance is when you locate the proper cabin and call in for help – that help is franchise player and survivor, Tommy Jarvis. Tommy comes equipped with a shotgun and better stats than any other counselor. He is here solely to fuck Jason’s shit up! But even with Tommy’s aid, defeating Jason isn’t a one man show. To actually defeat that mongoloid, it takes allot of teamwork; a running theme in this game. A female counselor (think F13 Part 2’s Ginny) must locate Jason’s rundown shack and wear his Mother’s sweater, while everyone else has to beat the shit out of Jason until his iconic mask falls off his ugly as shit face. Then, dressed in the sweater, the female counselor stuns Jason into thinking she’s his mother and hits him with a weapon dropping him to his knees thereafter Tommy, now wearing Jason’s mask, slices and dices his head with a machete.

Now, as you can probably tell, this isn’t an easy process, and my description may not even be 100% correct because honestly, SPOILER ALERT haha, I’ve never gotten that far. Not many people have apparently. This is the only game I’ve ever played where the player is meant to fail. Why? Well because Jason is borderline immortal just like in the movies. That’s what makes it so fun. You even get to fulfill some deep dark sickness inside you as a horror fan because when it’s your turn to play as Jason, that’s when the blood really flows. The more XP you gain, the different variant Jason formats you unlock; each from a different movie and even some special bonus variants too. All the Jasons have different strengths and kills but they all share four similar abilities: You can SENSE where people are based on how scared they are. You can STALK, so you can really focus in on one target. You can SHIFT, to where you blitz around as fast as an Evil Dead camera chase. Lastly, you can MORPH, where you can randomly select a different place on the map to magically appear. All these attributes help you hunt your prey so you can kill them in an assortment of ways. This is where the game really shines. The creative ways you can end other players still excites me every time I see it. Whether it be with impaling them with your weapon, throwing them through windows, curb-stomping them into the fire, choke-slamming them on a tree stump or drowning them in the lake – all these multiple kills the game allows are exhilarating. I won’t say whether or not you can perform the famous sleeping bag kill.

Friday The 13th The Game

On top of everything else, the best part of this game is that it really does create the horror mood when playing. You’re always tense and scared wondering where Jason is. The soundtrack plays head games with you too; making you think that he’s closer then he really is until the second he finally appears! Everything about this game is really well thought out and stays true to the movies. The teamwork needed to play is unlike any game I’ve ever played before. Microphones aren’t meant for lonely boy gamers telling other players how they fucked your mother, Nah-uh! With this game, you’re always helping people – swapping tools, navigating and cross referencing. It really is unlike anything I’ve ever played and that seems to be the group consensus with my fellow online players. Think about that – a medium stereotyped to be mindless entertainment and bad for kids brains, in a genre that is stereotyped by senseless blood and guts – yet here is the perfect combination promoting friendship, communication, teamwork and educated thinking. Kudos! That said, doesn’t seem like we get to hook up with our fellow counsellors yet but who knows. I wonder if Freddy Krueger will ever find his way into the gameplay with us. That would be wild.

With all its faults and bugs, launching woos, and initial concerns, this game is still unbelievably fun. I am pleased to say that all the updates and patches are constantly coming out that just put the icing on the cake. Even at its most bare Friday the 13th: The Game is a perfect 10. It’s a game that can give renaissance to the horror movie genre of gaming and maybe help move along multiple others (would love a Texas Chainsaw Massacre game or Child’s Play). It was more than worth the wait and equally worth the price. While we wait for the movies that don’t seem to be happening, at least here we can that Jason lives and he didn’t go to hell in the process.

Now excuse me, I have some killing to do….. Ki, ki, ki, ma, ma, ma

Cube Movie Review

Looking back into the ‘CUBE’ – Why this Canadian chiller still holds up

I’m a goddamn sucker for single room movies. I know some people hate them, and I completely understand why, but for me I buy in every time. The suspense is built without even really having to doing anything; just knowing you will be experiencing an entire ninety minute movie while the characters are confined to one single space gives me a semi-chub.

Cube is a mind-fuck of a movie

Now like I said, there are a lot of haters out there who hate this form of movie. So I’m going to split the difference with you today. CUBE isn’t exactly a single room film. Hell, I don’t even know if it’s quite a horror film. What it is, is a sick and tormenting, mind-fuck of a movie that is just as complex as it is simple. Seven strangers from all walks of life, wake up in a giant size, pseudo-Rubik’s Cube in which every identical room inside said CUBE wants to kill you.

The characters go through a Lord of the Flies-type experience. First learning about each other, then doing their best to govern themselves, until chaos ensues. The limited knowledge given for each person is just enough to keep them interesting yet never revealing more than we really need to know.

This movie actually doesn’t spell much out for you at all. You’re left to your own conclusions basically from the get-go. Which makes following along easy for an idiot like me! It keeps that eerie feeling of wondering who, what, when, where and why is this all happening — without ever really figuring it out.

For whatever reason, this movie isn’t nearly as popular as it should be. Its twenty years old but there is nothing in it which dates it or cheapens it at all. Which is even more surprising seeing as this is a Canadian made film. And being a Canuck myself I can tell you, and this may be a controversial opinion, but a lot of small budget, Canadian made film or TV projects are simply terrible.

I understand all the reasoning why we, north of the border, may not have the production quality of those in the USA but that may also be what gives this kind of Canadian movie its true “charm.” My two favorite shows in the world are Canadian made, super low budget, yet ultra-funny and creative (Kenny vs. Spenny and The Trailer Park Boys).

Much like those two shows, CUBE embraces its flaws while highlighting its strengths. So that might be why I have such a fascination with this badboy and choose to disregard some of the horrendous acting. It’s more or less a single room thriller, made on a super tight budget with tons of creativity, fun kills, great visuals and an even better mystery. It stands out because there isn’t a lot like it floating around.

So do yourself a favor: if you’re sick of reboots, super hero movies or cheeseball comedies then give CUBE a watch. It’s not full of gore or jump scares so your girlfriend will give it a chance too.

If you made it this far in my article then you obviously have a gift for making it through cheap Canadian content. But this movie is a perfect example that low-budget does not always have to mean low-quality.

Fear, paranoia, suspicion, desperation are all found within the six sides of this CUBE.

The Strangers Movie Review

Because You Were Home: A Reflection on one of the best modern horror films, “The Strangers.”

A regular go-to, show-any-friend-who-hasn’t-seen-much-horror, watches-a-couple-times-a-year movie that I constantly find myself going back too, is arguably one of the most realistic non-fiction movies in the genre. It is a movie that gets under your skin on such a humanely realistic level that no one, anywhere, can say they haven’t thought of the situation happening to them. I’m not talking about the monster under your bed, but more that strange sound you hear in your closet. That fear of looking out your bedroom window and seeing someone looking back. This movie reflects that all too real vibe of being watched but too scared to look and actually see but what happens when you do.

This all goes back to why your Mom told you to never talk to THE STRANGERS.

Keep reading after the trailer

From the opening prologue that teaches you about the “real life” couple that was subjected to this madness thus inspiring the film, I’m always hooked. With only a little backstory, this movie wastes little time in its quest to unnerve you. The rare art of having little to no background music forces you to sit and marinate in all the dialogue, noises and dread shared between the characters. A tactic often used poorly, but when correct, brings a sense of urgency and suspense to a scene.

I’m going to do my best to not spoil anything, although this movie is not one to overthink. It has an incredibly basic plot of having your home (that personal feeling of your safe place) invaded by people that you have no connection with. This invasion is random – an act with no rhyme or reason other than to hurt and scare.
These strangers aren’t just out for blood. They seem to want to scare you much deeper than any wound can. It is much like how my love for Freddy Krueger began. He wasn’t only on the hunt for victims but rather he took great enjoyment in the traumatization before their demise. Ultimately the sadism of the predator’s actions is what satisfies them. These three masked intruders seem to share the same love for that kind of macabre arousal.

The Strangers Movie Review
Why are you doing this to us?

The setting is the real star of the movie for me: a beautiful, somewhat outdated, home sitting on a large chunk of land. A long gravel driveway leads up to it. Far enough on the outskirts of town to feel isolated. Funny enough, it almost perfectly mirrors my first girlfriend’s house, allowing me to really picture myself there and in the couple’s shoes. The vastness of the property actually serves as the main limitation too because you are looking for any option to escape and end this nightmare.

The utter madness displayed by the three strangers really is the terrifying part. Worse than The Devil’s Rejects because those people are whacko and make no qualms to hide it. You could say that these strangers are all mentally ill but you can also imagine them just being terribly bored with life. That’s what is really off-putting about it all. There is a real sense that they are all simply making this up as they go along. It is like they jumped into this scenario without any plan, yet seem to have no emotion or worry about it going forward. That’s what is terrifying! They could just be anyone; acting upon one bad thought.

I’ve seen a lot of horror movies in my life both fiction and non-fiction (true crime); documentaries with real footage that have audio so you hear serial killers give detailed descriptions of their murders. But there are a few scenes in this movie which will forever haunt me. The shots where you see these faceless entities hiding in the shadows with only enough light to show their masks remain a particular highlight. They watch you from near and far. This psychological torment is something I still think about any time I hear a bump in the night.

Even after all that horror is completed, the sun rises and a new day starts, the absolute creepiest, weirdest, skin crawling, spine tingling, nightmare inducing line is said (in my opinion). The female lead Kristen (Liv Tyler) simply asks “Why are you doing this to us?” and the female stranger responds….”Because you were home.”

Sweet dreams thinking on that one guys. And whether or not we will ever get to have the long rumoured and production stalled ‘The Strangers 2’, there is no denying exactly what this 2008, 10 million dollar budgeted, horror movie gave us that nine years later I am still scared to think about who could be outside my window or at the front door.

The Lst Exorcism

It wasn’t the first and it won’t be ‘The Last Exorcism’

Reflecting on the possession story that breathed life into the sub-genre

In the horror genre, especially in the era of remakes and sequels, creativity sometimes wears thin. About 44 years ago, a movie came onto the scene which is still talked about as being one of the, if not greatest, scary movies of all time. The Exorcist launched one of the most overused, sometimes abused, tired and played out subject matter that is still going today.

Finding a movie about possession is about as easy as looking for something with ghosts in it. But when I stumbled upon The Last Exorcism a couple of years ago, I fell in love. Now granted, I haven’t seen every movie about satanic possession, but I have seen a big handful which is why I liked this one so much!

Keep reading after the trailer

Being a professional wrestler, you become a skeptic of everything. Ever. You learn that just about everything in life has some amount of “fake” poured into it. So you take everything with a grain of salt. That exact skepticism is what made me love this particular movie.

Basically, the Cliff’s Notes are as follows: Reverend Cotton Marcus (Patrick Fabian), who was raised in the church since childhood, learns the ways of performing an exorcism and proceeds to help people for years with the spiritual guidance of God. Until one day, his own little boy is born with complications and is saved only by the doctors. The Reverend then realizes his belief in God had no part in saving his son — it was all science. From that point onwards, his belief is gone yet he continues to help people who are possessed via placebo type methods; inviting a documentary crew to film his process.

The Last Exorcism
Tricks of the Exorcism trade

The routine works rather well until he visits the Sweetzer family.

Now let’s be honest, as different as this one is, it does have a few classic possession style movie tropes in it. But it sprinkles its own unique style of salt and pepper to keep a little variety on that sub-genre plate. The obligatory sweet, innocent girl in need of the exorcism (Ashley Bell) tows the line between cute and creepy. The family is as sketchy as possible; constantly making you rethink everything you’ve just seen. Even the Reverend fighting his own battle of beliefs the entire time adds to the delicacies of the story playing out as the movie progresses.

My personal favorite scene is at the beginning of the movie when the Reverend is showing the film crew all his tricks of the exorcism trade. This is where the viewer gets to see all the tools, “gimmicks,” in which he uses to convince the families that his exorcism is working though in reality, it being all smoke and mirrors.

It’s a neat mix of found footage, satanic possession, mystery, horror and even comedy; not taking itself too seriously early on to not knowing where it will end later. A small cast of very interesting characters added a compelling mix for the viewer. Each character was given some depth to them as a ploy to keep you thinking. I honestly love this movie and every twist and turn it takes.

The Devil Commands

Originally released in 2010, this one kind of flew under the radar. While making a good amount of money, there are many fans out there who don’t remember it. I will sum this up to the fact that one or two of these kinds of movies were released around that same time. Or perhaps it seems that the formula is used in at least one movie a year? Eventually they all blur together from an advertising perspective. Who really knows? The Last Exorcism is definitely worth seeking out to watch. Then watch The Last Exorcism: Part II for good measure. Don’t take my word for it. I only ask….The Devil commands.

What did you think about The Last Exorcism?

NXT Toronto

Taking the NXT step into Toronto

I’ve been moonlighting as a pro wrestler for over half my life. I turn twenty-seven on December 20th and have been taking bumps since a week after my thirteenth birthday. I came around at a fantastic time because pro wrestling is currently in the midst of a renaissance like never before.

Believe it or not, just because World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) might not seem to have the same mainstream popularity it did when Stone Cold, The Rock and Hulk Hogan were around, doesn’t mean “professional wrestling” is in bad shape. You see, there are many other avenues of pro wrestling around the world on the independent scene. All involved striving and some feeling the success that they have been seeking for years.

It’s like WWE was secretly watching; becoming more and more jealous of all this underground wrestling. Desperate for something fresh, they decided not only did they want to conquer mainstream wrestling but target the audience of the independent scene as well. This wise, though some say restricting, move created the platform that is NXT.

Now being a resident of the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) and hearing WWE would be bringing their NXT product along with Survivor Series and Monday Night RAW to “TakeOver” a weekend in November had the already hot Toronto wrestling crowd drooling in anticipation for this potentially once in a lifetime weekend.

With this stacked weekend for fans, most local independent promoters vowed to not run for fear of risking competition with the biggest wrestling company in the world. This gave most of the Ontario pro wrestling roster a rare weekend off so they too could be fans once again and attend.

This is where my excitement peaked. Contrary to what some in the business might say, being a pro wrestler purely means they are some of the biggest fans out there and I am no exception. I’m at a pro wrestling show multiple times a week but being involved on the shows, I rarely get to actually watch and enjoy. When NXT TakeOver Toronto came on November 19th, I got to go hit up the Air Canada Centre and watch wrestling live as a fan; falling in love all over again.

The show couldn’t have started any hotter with not only two Canadians, but locals that I saw on the scene many years ago: Bobby Roode and Tye Dillinger. Both men are masters at their craft. They demonstrated that that by using creativity, character and storytelling, basic fundamental wrestling can still excel. Hard to believe but true and wrestling is a constantly evolving, fast paced style which fans have grown accustomed too and demand more. There’s a true “art” to having a match this beautiful and hard hitting, yet leaving both men healthy enough to do it again night after night. It was “Glorious!”

“When NXT TakeOver Toronto came on November 19th, I got to go hit up the Air Canada Centre and watch wrestling live as a fan; falling in love all over again.”

Second match was TM-61 versus The Authors of Pain with their manager, Paul Ellering, hanging above the ring in a shark cage. This was a fun match too with each guy having their moment in the spotlight and every one of their opponents taking full advantage right after. A highlight example was when Shane Thorne did a flipping senton off the cage-crane rig. Speaking of that “crane”, I noticed it was totally useless. While it was being assembled during a video package, the cage was actually lowered from the ceiling (ala Hell in a Cell). The crane base was built purely to advertise the newest “Hanging Shark Tank” playset WWE is releasing this Christmas. AND GODDAMN DID I EVER LOVE IT!

Next up was another tag match that saw Team DIY challenging The Revival for the NXT Tag Team Championships. Having two tag team matches back to back makes it incredibly difficult for the second one to stand out. However these two teams put on a masterpiece that not only was match of the night but many people are saying it was a possibly match of the year. Both teams displayed a “perfected match formula”; many of us have been trying to achieve this for years. This formula, in my opinion, being old school pro wrestling psychology mixed with modern moves and genuine storytelling sequences. This was just an absolutely beautiful, drama filled fight, which could make any naysayer or stubborn MMA meathead get 100% invested in.

The semi-main event was former WWE Women’s Champion Mickey James returning to challenge Asuka, who is without doubt, possibly the best female pro wrestler in the world. The stigma of what women’s wrestling is has been terrible over the past few years – gone are the days of Madusa, Sherri Martel and Luna Vachon. Only recently, with the emergence of Charlotte Flair and Sasha Banks, has the opinion changed. This new crop of female pro wrestlers made it their mission to not only show they are as good as the men, but better. NXT has been so influential in this battle and matches like this only continue to strengthen the case. There are too many words to describe the magic that both ladies had; their ability to blend the lines of beauty and brutality – giving more credibility to the NXT Women’s Championship.

The Main Event

Finally we reach the crescendo of the night. The Main Event. It was for the NXT World Championship. Samoa Joe challenged reigning and defending champion Shinsuke Nakamura. With the pomp and circumstance from both men’s entrances, along with the big fight feel, this was exactly the kind of main event a show like this needed. Bringing strong style to the North American audience, these guys painted a picture of beautiful violence spanned across that 20×20 ring. Look at these two guys and you will see two of the absolute best in the world. Two guys that make you forget every preconceived notion you had about “sports entertainment”.

I left the arena that night feeling elated. I experienced the entire event with no pressure of my own. I was a kid again in that seat and I’m not afraid to admit it. Live pro wrestling is incredible. No other entertainment medium do you, the audience member, get to be so actively involved. Your voice can actually change the performance!  I often wonder why so many couples will seek out going to concerts, stand-up comedy or dramatic theatre for date nights, yet rarely come out to a pro wrestling show. Whether it is WWE or the independent level, I’ve never met someone who, after experiencing their first pro wrestling show, didn’t have an absolute blast.

Support your local independent pro wrestlers

I get that unless you are looking for them, independent wrestling shows are hard to find. Advice: a quick Google search will usually tell you when and where your local wrestling shows run. I encourage everyone to spend the time to enjoy a live performance during this renaissance era. If you still don’t like it, that’s fine but I appreciate knowing you supported this magical business because as a fan, as a wrestler, as anybody involved, pro wrestling is magical.

Photo courtesy of Bill Chase

Leprechaun

‘LEPRECHAUN’ – It’s still Money, in fact, it’s a Pot-o-Gold!

I was raking my brain with what movie I was gonna write about this week. You see, as much as I love Halloween, horror, and all things gory, I’m also one of those assholes so full of Christmas spirit. As soon as Labour Day passes, my brain starts thinking about decorating! Now with Halloween being a week behind us, the sickness becomes even stronger. I have to physically stop myself from watching Holiday movies until December. Pretty much the month of November becomes as useless of a month as Wednesday is in the work-week.

Leprechaun Jennifer Aniston
Check it out… Rachel from ‘Friends’ is in this movie!

As I try to power through these next thirty days, debating what movies to write about, I decided to turn on one of my favourite shows. While not knowing it, this show would hold my inspiration. “An Idiot Abroad” is a show where comedian Ricky Gervais sends his bonehead best friend Karl around the world to learn and experience different cultures. Well for the first two seasons he travelled alone, but by the third season, Karl expressed how he “would enjoy a little company this season while traveling.” Well, Ricky took that literally, and for season three, sent this pint-sized bundle of joy alongside – yes Warwick Davis himself.

And there was my inspiration for this article, Mr. Warwick Davis. A legend. A man with a credits list as long as Jason Voorhies’ kill count. It’s no secret that we really know him for just one major accomplishment (maybe two for Jedi fans out there) and that is: Leprechaun.

Now as usual, I’m not gonna review this movie. I’m simply gonna write about what I like and try to honeydick you into watching or re-watching it again. BUT – how can you not want to watch this? It’s about a cereal box character that came to life to hunt down his missing gold. All the while we get to see Rachel from Friends clumsily try to run away, while her co-stars deliver some of the most choreographed acting off all time. I mean this all in a good way. Also, some of the 90s fashion in this badboy is worthy of the watch alone.

Leprechaun has one of my favourite kills ever

To this day, Leprechaun has one of my favourite kills in any movie ever. And – SPOILER ALERT – it comes when he decides to use a pogo stick on a guy’s chest. This movie also has one of my favourite chase scenes of all time, and I don’t mean car chase, but maniac after victim chase. I’m talking the classic part where Jennifer Aniston is running through an empty hospital while that Irish small fry is chasing her on a wheelchair! It gets better when he fixes himself a miniature go-kart and T-bones a full size truck causing it to roll head-over-asshole straight down a hill.

With the entire pot of Grade-A cheese in this movie, there is nothing that makes it not fun to watch. What it lacks in dialogue, it makes up for in creativity. Where it lacks in logic, it corrects itself in fun. I know this movie is labelled a Horror/Comedy, and maybe it was when it was released in 1993 but in 2016, the only scary thing about this movie is how it doesn’t get the praise it deserves.

Continued below

This movie won’t keep you up all night, or have you fearing another jump scare, but it will make you appreciate how perfect Warwick Davis is in the role as Leprechaun. Sequels, and the remake aside, the original film had an undeniable blend of phenomenal make-up FX, hilariously clichéd catchphrases, and constant use of the absolute most random items as weapons. This movie/franchise is so overlooked despite having an impressive five additional entries to the original series.

So as we mosey our way thru this useless month known as November, kill some time watching this Leprechaun penguin walk his way to the end of the rainbow. Then do it all again in March for St. Patrick’s Day.

SPOILER ALERT x2! Leprechaun dies by having a piece of bubble gum, wrapped in a four leaf clover, slingshot down his throat (Bart Simpson style). Yeah, you read that right, go experience it for yourself.

Have you seen Leprechaun?