Hambleton Nightmare Yorkshire Porter
Hambleton Nightmare Yorkshire Porter

Bub’s Beer Count: 419
Hambleton Nightmare Yorkshire Porter
ABV 5%

First an apology:

I’m sober as I write this review. It may not be as comical as the ones in the past but I will try my best.

Sometimes a beer isn’t very good.  It’s not that this beer is bad, per se, but it’s not very good either.  Would I drink it again? If someone bought me one at a bar, I would definitely drink it, but I would not shell out the money for it, even though it was only six dollars for the 1 pint, 9 fluid oz. bottle.

The reason that I gravitated (See what I did there? Beer nerd pun) toward this beer, in particular, was the name. I was trying to pick out some beers with horror themes, and this fit the bill. I mean, I am doing this for a horror podcast’s website.  On to the beer!

The appearance was very dark, which was to be expected. After all, it is a porter.  The head was there and gone in a flash and was very small, much like the head of your penis.

The jokes just aren’t as funny when you don’t have a few in you…

“This Nightmare porter turned out to be a true nightmare.”

The aroma was nice; it had the obvious coffee and chocolate smells in addition to something I couldn’t quite place. I think it was alcohol. I checked the label and it was only 5%—small by beer standards—so I thought that maybe it was a fluke.

As I began to drink the beer, I realized the alcohol was not a fluke. Oddly enough, the alcohol seemed to stand out more than anything. It was like someone brewed some strong coffee, added cocoa powder and poured rubbing alcohol into the mix. I would expect this in some imperial stouts but not a 5% porter. Leave it to the British to fuck things up.*  The beer was bland, and I think because of this blandness, the alcohol stood out more.  If presented with this beer, go have a Guinness instead; at least the Irish know what they’re doing.  Yes, I resisted on using the line “this Nightmare porter turned out to be a true nightmare.” You’re welcome.

*There are good British beers out there.

Bub’s Rating*

Taste: 24oz of horror
Aroma: 31oz of horror
Appearance: 30oz of horror
Palate: 28oz of horror
Overall: 27oz of horror

*Ratings out of 40oz of Horror

Mike "Bub" Pence
Written by Mike "Bub" Pence
Beer enthusiast Mike "Bub" Pence is something of an expert by consumption and is currently well on his way to reaching his goal of trying 5,000 different beers. His irreverence and lack of pretension qualifies him as a 40oz. Of Horror contributor. You can follow him on Twitter @bubsbeerblog and check out his blog at www.BubsBeerBlog.com.